selfless, cold, and composed

today i was asked to leave the house again. it was her way or no way at all. when i think about how it got at the end of the 'conversation (i put it in quotes, because there is no way there was any communication) i realized we just sounded like christine or michael yelling at her, yelling useless bullshit at each other. things like calling me an lazy fuck, liar, selfish. telling me that i was an embarassment to her. that was a new one, and she said that with such malace in her voice i could not help but start to tear up. i try so fucking hard! i don't know how much of it i initiated...