Thursday, April 3, 2008

yeah, your right

i had a dream about a week ago. i dreamt that angela called me, almost in tears, to tell me that she had some information about how i could pay for my medication, but my mom was telling me that she needed me to get off the phone to help her with something. when i asked angela if i could call her back, she said to me 'can't you just tell her to wait? this is important.'

this happens all of the time. it seems like everytime i am on the phone with louis, something happens and i have to ask if i can call him back, which really upsets him.

i am so embarassed. 27 years old and i still live at hime, still allow her to break me down the way that she does. yesterday she called me an idiot. i just loved that one. it's hard not to cry in front of her, to show that i have some fucking dignity, but sometimes it is no use.

i miss work. i miss having a place to escape her, a place of independence, a place where i was somewhat soxial. where i was able to breate, to be a single person.

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